Writings: Bhikkhu’s Power of Judgement

1546241_613017518745475_1677613343_nI remember reading years ago that William Blake wrote, “Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence.”

At first I had a gut feeling that he was wrong – people disagreeing with each other, fighting with each other – that’s the problem in the world. No progress there.

Then I started noticing that Blake was right – people (even me!) made things better when they would speak honestly & openly with each other, especially when they tell their friend what they most don’t want to hear…and give them (well, me) a chance to do things better. When I think about the people I consider the best friends in my life, they are the ones who tell me…what I don’t want to hear.

Here’s a dharma talk about this, with the three truths that shape this:

When the Buddha told Ananda that the entirety of the practice lies in having an admirable friend, he wasn’t saying something warm and reassuring about the compassion of others. He was pointing out three uncomfortable truths — about delusion and trust — that call for clear powers of judgment.

The first truth is that you can’t really trust yourself to see through your delusion on your own. When you’re deluded, you don’t know you’re deluded. You need some trustworthy outside help to point it out to you.

1466187_475560072560688_1205991201_nThis is why, when the Buddha advised the Kalamas to know for themselves, one of the things he told them to know for themselves was how wise people would judge their behavior. When he advised his son, Rahula, to examine his own actions as he would his face in a mirror, he said that if Rahula saw that his actions had caused any harm, he should talk it over with a knowledgeable friend on the path. That way he could learn how to be open with others — and himself — about his mistakes, and at the same time tap into the knowledge that his friend had gained.

He wouldn’t have to keep reinventing the dharma wheel on his own.

So if you really want to become skillful in your thoughts, words, and deeds, you need a trustworthy friend or teacher to point out your blind spots. And because those spots are blindest around your unskillful habits, the primary duty of a trustworthy friend is to point out your faults — for only when you see your faults can you correct them; only when you correct them are you benefiting from your friend’s compassion in pointing them out.

Regard him as one who points out treasure,
the wise one who seeing your faults rebukes you.
Stay with this sort of sage.
For the one who stays with a sage of this sort,
things get better, not worse.

Dhp 76

1545627_10152026339058176_1188848856_nIn passing judgment on your faults, an admirable friend is like a trainer. Once, when a horse trainer came to see the Buddha, the Buddha asked him how he trained his horses. The trainer said that some horses responded to gentle training, others to harsh training, others required both harsh and gentle training, but if a horse didn’t respond to either type of training, he’d kill the horse to maintain the reputation of his teachers’ lineage. Then the trainer asked the Buddha how he trained his students, and the Buddha replied, “In the same way.”

Some students responded to gentle criticism, others to harsh criticism, others to a mixture of the two, but if a student didn’t respond to either type of criticism, he’d kill the student. This shocked the horse trainer, but then the Buddha explained what he meant by “killing”: He wouldn’t train the student any further, which essentially killed the student’s opportunity to grow in the practice.

Read the rest of the essay here (you’ll be glad you did):

“The Power of Judgment”, by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
Access to Insight (Legacy Edition), 1 December 2012,
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/power_of_judgment.html 

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Writings: Looking for the answers, looking for the questions

24-hour-geostationary-satellite-animation-loop-EarthI remember it well – my girlfriend & I were interviewing someone so we could live in his apartment complex. “Interviewing” means, of course, that he had all the questions.

What we noticed, though, was that we liked his questions.

Do you have parties very often? (Well, just potlucks. Is that what you mean?)

How loud do you play your music? (She said, “Ian’s a folk singer,” like that settled that.)

Do you have a job? (Well, between the two of us, five jobs. And she’s in school.)

Do you like Jackson Browne? (Yep, love him.)

What do you do if you have a problem with the people next door? (Go over & visit, preferably with chocolate chip cookies, and see what we can do to take the steam out of the deal.)

We were looking for a nice, quiet, studious, non-rowdy place, and it all sounded good.

He said, “I like your answers.” We said, “We like your questions.” And we all laughed & it all worked out just fine.

Sometimes you can tell by the questions, more than the answers,  you’re in the place you belong. Let me know how that goes with you & for you & around you.

Loving the way you do this,
Brother Ian

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Thoughts: Meditation & aging…

A woman takes in the sun just before sunset at the southern tip of Manhattan in New York's Battery Park, September 2, 2014. The temperature hit 92 degrees Fahrenheit (33 degree Celsius) in Central Park today for the first time in 2014. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid
A woman takes in the sun just before sunset at the southern tip of Manhattan in New York’s Battery Park, September 2, 2014. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid

You already knew that meditation helps the way you think, feel, and, well, everything….and now a study from UCLA points to  evidence that it may slow aging, as well. Here’s more, in a report from Samantha G with the International Business Times in Australia:

A new study highlighted that medication can delay the process of age-related loss of grey matter in the brain. The study was conducted by researchers from the University of California — Los Angeles.

Previous studies have established that life expectancy has risen since the 1970s, with people living 10 years longer. Unfortunately, now people’s brains have started to wither in their mid to late 20s. This has led to loss of a few functional abilities.

Here’s more;

http://www.onbeing.org/blog/meditation-and-mindfulness-all-us-six-questions-sharon-salzberg/2701

Whales: Humpbacks, from the drones…

Starpeople: Mr. Podesta suggests it’s about time for disclosure

John Podesta
John Podesta

Over the years, there have been numerous folks who have suggested that it’s about time for full disclosure of what the US government knows about ETs, UFOs, and contact with other intelligent beings. The government used to be pretty open about it all, collecting reports annually in an operation called Project Blue Book, which was ended (at least publicly) in the late 1960s.

Not much point in me pointing you to what folks say & see & react to – heck, you have YouTube & you can search for things, too, but there was an interesting story in the news this past week….

John Podesta, a one-time chief of staff to Bill Clinton and an outgoing advisor to Barack Obama, was asked his biggest regret as his present tenure with the government ends, and he said:

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Although the news types can’t seem to give this sort of thing much credibility (The Independent calls him a UFO nut, and The Washington Post does the “damning with faint praise” thing one better by telling a story with faint detail), at least it has snuck into the national conversation that someone close to two presidents thinks there IS a story to tell.

He joins the increasingly high-level chorus that suggests there actually is something to disclose.

Writings: See it. Call it.

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On the side of the pool in St Elmo, in Chattanooga, Tennessee where my mom does her swim. Photo by Ian Byington.

“Look out! It’s a deer!”

As I pulled around the corner in the wooded part, just outside of Nanaimo, BC, my friend’s words drew my eye to the crouching, then bounding doe who suddenly jumped from the side of the road in the dusk. I slowed, and just missed her flank as she bounced by.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure if you saw her,” she placed her hand on my arm as I downshifted.

“No, I’m glad you told me. I saw her, but what if I hadn’t? It’s good to have a warning, and an extra set of eyes. Keeps me from hitting things. No, I was gonna tell you thanks.”

Don’t you think that’s the way it works? Most of us don’t really like being told what to do. It makes us jump if someone just yells a warning, and sometimes it’s kinda annoying, because you can see it & don’t need the warning…but isn’t it nice, sometimes, when it keeps you out of a jam?

And there’s all kinds of things people warn us about.

“Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” It’s the intention & good will, isn’t it. I’ve never seen anyone call the exterminator when told this.

“Be careful.” Usually doesn’t mean I think you’re dangerous with a death wish. Usually means I hope you come back in one piece.

“Watch out…she’s in a bad mood.” Depends on who it is. It may mean: “You need to be funnier than usual,” but usually it means, “Let me do the talking. You be quiet.” And the tiptoeing on eggshells begins.

“Do you like dogs?” Usually they ask as the dog plants her front two on your chest & licks your face. Or something. More of a post-warning, really, in that case.

What’s really useful, I think, is when the “warning” becomes inbred, built-in good sense, so that the next time you drive a road with lots of deer, or hang around a perpetually grumpy grandma,  or you see someone with a jumpy dog, you have hardwired a useful, ready-to-use response.

But be sure & say so. If you see something, say so. It doesn’t help to be thinking it, and have it happen without your help. Say so. It’s a way to share & to heal. Often as not, being quiet, especially as the tune of “I really don’t want to bother them” plays in our head, really does bother folks.

So, sing out. I want to hear you.

Loving you,
Brother Ian

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